So…I woke up this morning to find I’d written a new blog post sometime during the night. I have no recollection of writing this post…nor so I remember even turning on my computer. I think we need to enable a type of software for computers like they’ve designed for drunk drivers to use before getting [...]

Hookers and Ernie from Sesame Street are really quite similar. One sells sex for money and the other sails ducks for funny. Zing.

So. We’ve all done things we’re not proud of. And if you’re in congress right now, you do things you’re proud of that most people think you should be arrested for. But I digress. I recently had a great idea for a website where I would publish one startling personal confession a day for public [...]

Being cool nowadays is hard. It used to be, in my youth, all I needed to keep up with my peers was a new unicorn pencil from the vending machine and some pogs. Now, with all the internets and whatnot, cool changes every day. I can’t hardly keep up. As soon as I think I’ve [...]

I’m watching my nephews today. I love these guys, really I do. But…why is it that every child under the age of 12 thinks all adults want to hear the entire plot of every stupid kids movie that’s come out in the last ten years retold in complete detail, all quotes repeated ten times an [...]

Today is my 26th day of birth. 26 years ago today I popped out of my mother’s abdomen (surgical style) and burst into the bright 80s world of Alf, Small Wonder, and a non-vibrating Micheal J. Fox. Reflecting today on past birthday celebrations, I’m reminded of a few that stick out in my memory as [...]

I was holding up a 7-11 the other night (a regular occurance when we’re out of milk and Slurpies). All was going well until I went to leave the store. I heard the cashier on the phone talking to whom I believe must have been the cops. “I’ve got a white, possibly armed and dangerous, [...]