A Curious Hypothesis

We’ve been watching a lot of Curious George in our house for some reason…may be child related….maybe.

After watching this show and reading the books and becoming very very familiar with the characters I would like to propose a hypothesis: a deeper look, so to speak, at the man with the yellow hat and his curious little partner.

Here’s what I think. The man in the yellow hat is mentally…wait for it…retarded. Think about it–he does ridiculous things like let a monkey drive his car and doesn’t seem to have any sort of gainful employment (not talking about the movie here). He is slow witted and above all, easily impressed.

On the other hand, George is resourceful and smart. He is curious but always manages to save the day somehow.

So try this one on for size: I think in reality George is TMWTYH’s helper monkey. He was given to the man by his mother (mentioned in a few episodes but never seen) and lives to serve and help. Also, the smug Professor Wiseman is his caregiver. It all makes sense! Think about it…but not too hard…


Fight Club Therapy

Man it’s been a while! I’ve been blogging in greener pastures so to speak. Duck Duck has become a sort of red headed step child. Poor Duck Duck. But I’m here now! And there’s a reason.

Having kids is awesome. I love being a mom. It really is the best job I’ve ever had and I’m not being self-patronizing or cute. I love my kids and my life…seriously. There comes a time though every once in a while where I feel like I’m loosing my personhood. I start to feel like my actual personality gets sucked up into a life of talking to strangers about poop and laying in bed wondering if my toddler got enough green vegetables today.

When these times come there’s only one thing to do: watch Fight Club. That movie is like a really really nasty cough syrup you chug to feel better but you have to plug your nose on the way down. I hardly ever get through the whole movie in one sitting…but every time I watch it I feel a little more like a person.

I  don’t know why this movie is so narcotic for me. It really is a horrible movie. Dark, violent, angry. But it spouts a sort of philosophy that I can get behind…most of it anyway. Damn the Man and all that. I used to want to damn the man….now I’m happy just reading his articles in the NY Times and thinking how smart we all are.

I have a list of movies that I keep in the back of my head that I watch when I’m feeling depressed or un-personish. Fight Club is at the top. Knocked up is, embarrassingly, really close to the top too. There are a few pretty, happy movies on there too like Room With  View, Pride and Prejudiced and The Princess Bride…but for some reason I’ve always been drawn to morose plots and macabre characters.

I remember even as a kid my favorite movies being the weirder ones. I was the only kid in kindergarten who could quote most of Labyrinth.  For my twelfth birthday my parents took me to see Nightmare Before Christmas…a movie which I can honestly say has effected my life more than any other movie.

Anyway, back to Fight Club…its a fantastic film. Seriously, if you haven’t seen it, put the kids to bed, pour yourself a Mormon screwdriver (orange juice and Sprite in our house) and settle in for some painfully good movie viewing.


The List Is In

The following is my 2011 List of Words and Phrases That Irritate Me.

  • Organic Mattress
  • Life Coach
  • Drug-Free Birth (the phrase…not the actual event)
  • Bi-Partisan
  • Climate Change (the phrase…not the actual meteorological events it describes)
  • BPA Free
  • Free Range
  • @(name) when not on Twitter
  • Free Thinking (as used in the context of disagreeing with something…this does not make you a ‘free thinker’)
  • OMGosh (I’ve seen this…too many times)
  • Tablet
  • Elimination Communication
  • Modge Podge (I’ve always called it Decoupage…and then the hipsters got a hold of it…)
  • Fat Free Ranch Dressing
  • Zeitgeist (when used out of context…which is about the only way I hear it used..)
  • Islamic (that one’s for Dan…I think it’s a real word)
  • Agenda (especially when preceded by the words homosexual, liberal, right-wing, or Sesame Street)
  • Empowered (think about it…it’s a phrase only used to patronize women.)
  • Socialist
  • Mani-pedi
  • Intervention-free
  • Vegan
  • Must-see
  • Frak
  • Luddite

Movies You Must Watch

I recently spoke at Ignite Salt Lake. Here are the movies I mentioned in my talk as ones I think everyone must see once before they die. There are lots more to add…these were just the few I came up with first.

  • Casablanca
  • Serenity
  • Gone With the Wind
  • The Maltese Falcon
  • Apocalypse Now
  • The Royal Tennenbaums
  • Annie Hall
  • To Live
  • Knocked Up
  • Psycho
  • Fight Club
  • Donnie Darko
  • The Graduate
  • Dr. Strangelove
  • They Live
  • A Few Good Men
  • The Apartment
  • Amadeus
  • The Hours
  • Il Postino
  • The Nightmare Before Christmas
  • The Dog-inator

    Watching Eli with the dog, it was suddenly so clear. The dog wouldn’t stop, it would never leave him. It would never hurt him or shout at him or get drunk and hit him or say it was too busy to spend time with him. And it would die to protect him. Of all the would-be fathers that came over the years, this thing, this dog, was the only thing that measured up. In an insane world, it was the sanest choice.

    An Untold Story

    The following is a transcribed interview that appeared in Vanity Fair Magazine on March 5th, 2015 conducted by entertainment writer Darrish Jones with Academy Award winner Jennifer Marks.

    Jones: Jennifer, you just won an Academy award for your gripping role in the film “Cancer Tree”. This has been considered to be your breakout role. How did you feel when your name was announced Sunday night?

    Marks: It was surreal Darrish. I really can’t describe the feeling of walking up to that stage, taking that little gold man in my hands and looking out at the audience. I really was standing on the shoulders of giants, you know?

    Jones: Your role as Marva Lychter in this hard-to-watch saga was really quite amazing. Tell me how you prepared for this undertaking.

    Marks: Well, I had to loose a lot of weight. That was tough. And I had to figure out how to walk in 4 inch heels. I’ve never been good with tall shoes before.

    Jones: I don’t remember seeing you in heels in the movie. Were those scenes cut from the final version?

    Marks: No no. I had to learn to walk in heels for the premiers and openings. This movie was really well received and I had to go to a million showings and screenings. The red carpet walks were always longer than I thought. I really had to focus and stay on my game so I wouldn’t fall over in all those pairs of heels!

    Jones: I see. Well, how did you prepare for you role in the movie…in “Cancer Tree”?

    Marks: I don’t understand the question. You mean how did I prepare to promote the movie…or to talk about it on TV?

    Jones: Uh, no. How did you prepare for your acting. What did you do to get in character every day. How did you become Marva?

    Marks: Oh, I wasn’t actually in the movie. They just used stock footage from a data base and spliced it all together to get someone who looked pretty close to me. I’m blond, we all kinda look the same.

    Jones: You mean, you were’t actually in the film?

    Marks: Well, I was on set everyday. It took about 4 days of solid stand-in filming, for the scenes where I’m walking away or have my back to the camera. We couldn’t find any stock footage of that. So I am in the film, at some points.

    Jones: But…what about the footage they showed at the Oscars. It was a clip of the movie they showed right before you won. What was that?

    Marks: Oh, that was just stock footage of a blond woman crying into her hands. That’s all that really happens in the movie anyway. Its pretty much just two hours of a blond woman crying into her hands.

    Jones: Is this a common practice? Do many movies use stock footage like this?

    Marks: Oh yes, in fact, pretty much all of the movie “Transformers” was just old b-roll commercial footage of a woman who looked something like Megan Fox humping a motor cycle. They spliced it in with a few fair-use shots of semi trucks down shifting on the freeway.

    Jones: I had no idea.

    Marks: Yeah, the old film makers used to actually spend weeks, sometimes even months filming the movies with the same actresses and actors. Can you imagine that?! I really can’t imagine being on set for more than a few days. I have way too much to do with promos, appearances, and paparazzi run-ins. I don’t have time to actually act.

    Jones:  I guess that would be time consuming. Have all your films been made like this?

    Marks: Yeah, pretty much. I did appear in quite a bit of my film “Running With the Donkeys” but I left halfway through filming to go work on a commercial for Rice-a-Roni.

    Jones: Well, then. Here’s to many more spliced-in Oscar wins. Best of luck to you in all your future endeavors.

    Marks: Thank you Darrish. I have to run now to a Starbucks where I have to pretend to get in a fight with my pretend actor boyfriend. Nice talking to you!

    Jones: Likewise.

    Liberating the fowl.