Well, another year has come and gone and with it a lots of fond memories. America’s first Hawaiian president was elected. Big auto execs took the bus for the first time.  And here at the Garfield home, well, we spent the year in style as usual. Here’s a run down of our year:

January: We decided one yaught was just not enough. Bought a second and vacationed off the cost a Burma. Frightfully dull I’m afraid. Too many Indians.

February: Dan finished his Phd in neuro-bio-chemo-psycho-English lexacology.  He’s such a gem.

March: Bought our pure bread canine from a breeder in Wales. She’s the most well behaved bitch in the neighborhood. Cuts the mail lady up in little pieces before eating her…with a fork of course.

April: Could handle upholstery in the drawing no longer. Decorator had abhorrent taste. Fed her to dog. Had dog decorate the drawing room. Beautiful.

May: Vacationed in New York to see how the little people live.  No sign of them any where. The must live below ground.

June: Dan and I had a lovely time playing bridge and croquet on the south lawn. Dog ate gardener them promptly fertilized the roses. We do love her.

July: In-laws visited from Palm Springs. Brought with them a touch of the Plague.  Five of our best chauffeurs were lost. Poor devils.

August: Tennis out back. I just love a good match. The last one I lit took down the whole barn and stables.

September: Men in white coats came for mother. It turns out the man she’d been dating turned up with a few holes in him…also poor devil.

October: We so enjoyed a little time back east. Uncle Albert was especially moved by the National Gallery.  I think it was all the abstract expressionism.  And nudity.

November: Dan was offered the prestigious Newman Fellowship at Stanford. Stanford is for trashy white people. He turned it down.

December: Ah, what a lark is the Holiday Season. Dan bought me Lithuania. He’s so thoughtful. I got him a new set of Maseratis.  He deserved them, of course. Climbing Mt. Everest doesn’t happen every day. Unless you’re a Sherpa. Damn Sherpas.

So that was our year. Not much really. I’m sure this coming year will bring many more surprises and joys. PS-the Dog just ate mother. The dear.

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 8th, 2009 at 3:55 pm and is filed under Total Coolness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.