Al Bore: Why I Hate This Man
I know hate is a strong word. Maybe “greatly dislike”, or “mildly want to mame” would be a better way to put it. Whatever the word, Al Gore ranks high on my list of people that won’t get a spot in my bomb shelter during the apocalypse. Why, you might ask? I shall tell you.
Academy Awards Used to be a Thing of Honor
I know its WAAAAY old news to be talking about Gore’s academy award for…whatever it was. I think the specific category was Dueshe Bag Of The Year…or something. It used to mean something to hold that little gold guy and blubber about the Academy and all that jazz. But now I guess you just have to be on Leo DiCaprio’s “Green List” to get get a nod. What a joke. That song that Melissa Ethridge sang too was enough to make me renounce Christianity and go on a baby-poisoning spree. (If that comes up on the front page tomorrow it was NOT me.) In short, his movie was lame and I should have got an academy last year instead for my touching documentary: Fluffy Gets Spayed and Other Animal Adventures.
Gore Worship Has Gone a Bit Too Far
Now, I can understand why the wacky-tabacy enviro-nuts love this guys. Its like in Star Wars when we find out Vader is really just an old, bald guy with a harmonica. When Gore went green a few decades back he became the black avenger. The only one in the extreme green crowd that didn’t have dreds and like to smoke peyote…at family reunions. Now, I’m as much as an environmentalist as the next guy. I recycle when I can, I try to bike as much as possible, and I never let my dog release methane when we’re outside. I also don’t buy into any pre-determined political party.
But I look at some people, on either side and how they revere Gore and I kinda want to puke CO2 all day. He’s not that great. He drives and ESCALADE people. The car of the ghetto thug. Is this the man you want leading you into greener pastures? I mean, c’mon! His wife’s name is Tipper for crying out loud!!! He said on national television that he invented the Internet! And worst of all he looks like a ball point pen. Look again. You’ll see it.
You Even Won Over Wiki You Bastard
My last battle with this man comes in a discovery I made this morning. Now, Wikipedia is supposed to be a champion of objectivity. Its supposed to give unbiased information in the form of publicly edited articles. So I would like all of you to just look, just take a gander-loo at this wiki article I read:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al_Gore_and_the_environment
Please tell me you see what I see. Usually Wikipedia gives at least one section to discuss controversy or dissent of any political or international figure. But here, nada. A little paragraph about his monstrosity of a house but its padded with all sorts of quick defense and Gore-patting. I mean, wiki has three paragraphs outlining Gandhi’s more criticized actions. GANHDI!!! The man who sindle handledly ousted tea parties from India. And he get more critisism in his wiki article than Al Gore? Its a sick world we live in.
Anyway. I’m sure you’re all wondering why I wrote all this. I just get sick sometimes of people following popular political mongoloids just because they spout greenist doctrine. I think we need to be careful with our environment. But there is a flip side to everything. I just read an article that says CO2 emissions have actually cut down tremendously on deaths due to extreme weather. So be it true or not at least Gore might have a little push back coming his way from people that are sick of his platform. The End.