There’s a lot in the news these days about health care and who has the best plan. Some go for a public option, some want to keep things private. For me, I’ve finally found a health care model that I believe would work for everyone. After months of careful observation and research, I can safely say the best option for health care is to do it doggy style. Allow me to explain.

As many of you know, we own a dog. A crazy, zippy, wonderfully obnoxious border collie named Indi. This dog has the best health care in the U.S. Here’s why. When she gets sick she is immediately transported to the doctor by an in-house care giver. She gets, almost always, same day care and always receives a treat at the end. Her preventative care, like grooming and dental care, are done at her house on site.

Here’s the best part: Indi pays ZERO for this level of care. She pays no co-pay, no deductable, no fees or charges. Her health care is private and free.  I see no downside to doggy care. I’m going to draft up a proposal now and send it on over to the President.

Second to my dog health care proposal would be my model based on bunny health care. Drawing from my rabbit experience, I’d propose that if a patient were terminally ill, his or her care giver would have the authority to take him or her into the shed and shoot him/her in the head. A death panel? You might say. No sir. No panel here. Just a quick and painless way to solve a major health care problem; things that won’t die on their own.

So there you have it. I’m a genius. Now I’ve got to run dislodge the foxtail from Indi’s paw and give her her daily dose of heart worm medicine. That smug bitch has it all.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 15th, 2009 at 1:38 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.