Confess-shuns
So. We’ve all done things we’re not proud of. And if you’re in congress right now, you do things you’re proud of that most people think you should be arrested for. But I digress.
I recently had a great idea for a website where I would publish one startling personal confession a day for public pondering. Being lazy, I thought I’d just turn it into a blog post here and save us all the trouble of having to register a URL, design it, and promote it. And by “us all”, I mean Dan.
So here are a few things I’ve done in my life I think the public should know about.
- I recently hid our TV remotes from an Asian visitor when I left the house for fear she would mess up our TV while we were gone.
- I occasionally don’t wash my hands after using the “lavatory” because I’m a) too busy B) too lazy or C) just put lotion on my hands and don’t want to wash it off.
- When I was a kid I remember secretly hoping I’d find out I was adopted so they could make a movie about my hunt for my real parents.
- I told my entire 8th grade class that I was half Mexican so they’d think I was cool. It didn’t work.
- I borrowed my friends honor role tassels when I graduated from high school so my parents would think I graduated with honors.
- I sometimes wish a house in our neighborhood would get robbed or catch on fire so I’d have something to watch out the front window. I guess it have to be the house accross the street because that’s the only one I can see.
- I have sent myself hand addressed letters in the mail before.
- I would push an old lady into the path of a moving car to save my dog’s life.
- I have had a closet love for the Backstreet Boys ever since I was 14. I still can only listen to them when I think nobody is around.
- I once cut down a pine tree on my parents property for a Christmas decoration and lied and said it came from a nearby forest.
- I didn’t like “Kill Bill”. At all.
- And finally, I sometimes wish I could get a non-life-threatening, temporary serious illness so the women at church would bring me dinner for a few weeks.
I’m sure you’ve all got some skeletons in your closets. Mine are dancing around and having a party. That is all for now.
August 20th, 2009 at 7:30 am
i love love this
August 24th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
I knew it. You just got pregnant for the casserole…