How to Speak Like a WIN!
Being cool nowadays is hard. It used to be, in my youth, all I needed to keep up with my peers was a new unicorn pencil from the vending machine and some pogs. Now, with all the internets and whatnot, cool changes every day. I can’t hardly keep up. As soon as I think I’ve mastered a new catch phrase or idiom, another one is born from the depths of YouTube or College Humor. So, here’s a primer for any of my less “in-the-know” friends, gathering from what I know about ‘Internet speak’.
Pwnd. verb. po>ned. This means you’ve won. If you’ve “pwned” your opponent, you’re the new Commander in Briefs and you should be proud. Word origin? I think it came from that 80s movie about the alien. You know “E.T. pwn hme”? Other uses: pwnage, pwneriffic, pwner, etc.
LOL. verb. lu>hl. To find something funny or otherwise diverting. You might say “I lol’d when the cat got hit by that bucket”, or “I totally lol’d myself after watching last night’s Colbert”. Be careful, however, not to lol at something unfunny. You can be mocked and shunned by your cooler, more lol-sensitive friends. Other uses: lul, lulz, lollercopter (very popular with the kids these days), and lolleriffic.
H4wt. adjective. h>aht. Well…this is where coolness transfers in to the realm of the completely bazaar. If you look at the word I have typed above, you will notice the “a” has been changed into a “4″. You might say to yourself “but 4 is a number! Not a letter!” I know. I know. I don’t get it either. I think it was born sometime during the last decade when Steven Hawking was giving a discourse and saw an attractive lady in the audience. He must have made a typo on his screen when coming on to her i.e. “Hi there…you are so h4wt. Crap.”
Now that you know a few key Internet vocabulary words, be careful that you use them correctly. I don’t want to hear any “that was so pwnercopter” or “I l4l’d my head off”. These terms are non-transferable. Now go-be cool. I know I am. And that’s fantasmigorical.