I’ve been married to Dan now for a year and a half. In that time, I’ve learned not only to love and appreciate the quirky antics of married life, but I have also started learning the strange and sometimes mind boggling language of the techies. So here’s my dictionary of tech terms as I’ve heard them used in context…

OS X: This is Mac’s operating santa. He brings toys to all the good apple users. To get on OS’s list, you must purchase things called APPS…there like burnt offerings to the OS.

FTP: This is a typo that no techies have ever corrected. Its supposed to be FTL. Which we all know means “Faster Than Light”. Whenever Dan and I watch a movie, he beams it in from space using  faster than light technology…I’m still working on figuring that one out…

MYSQL: This is the college all computer geeks go to to learn how to “code”.

Coding: Coding is the ability to learn the most obscure tech terms and use them in a sentence. For example, “Hey dude, my Binary Trees aren’t growing as fast as they used to.” To which dude replies, “Yeah, you need to ramp up your gigawats and use more PHP.” That is an example of coding.

OpenCL: Only people who know what this is know what this is….that’s how Dan described it to me…it makes sense. I think you have to skin a cat and chant for a while before they’ll tell you the real meaning. And I’m not into that.

Embedded code: Where babies come from.

So as you can see I’m quite the tech-speaker myself. I have a lot to learn but I can assure you I’m far ahead of where I was months ago. So if you’ll excuse my I’m off to play Galstone-con on my iPwn.

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